Ralph
by TellatrixForever
Summary: Tig finds a new friend while painting his house. They hit it off right away.
1. Chapter 1

**Ralph**

**Summary: Tig finds a new friend while painting his house. They hit it off right away.**

**Authors Note: This story is actually based off of something that happened while I was on Vacation. Though I have taken many creative liberties in the actual story. Hope you all enjoy.**

**I own nothing.**

Tig wiped his brow of the sweat before putting down the paint covered roller on top of the paint can. He had recently decided that his Ranch House needed to be different color than the pitch black he had originally gotten it as.

So, he had gone to the store, picked up about 10 gallons of Ocean Blue Paint and gotten to work. And if the crazy man were to say so himself, it wasn't half bad, considering he already had about half of the exterior done.

Just as he was about to take off the roller and seal the can for the day, he noticed something wiggling in the paint. It looked like a small snake.

"What the Hell?" he asked himself. Deciding to take a look, he reached into it, grabbed the thing by it's tail, and yanked it out.

To his surprise, it wasn't a snake, but a lizard, covered in his blue paint!

"Damn. Either the paint is laced with LSD and I'm trippin' balls or I'm looking at a blue lizard!" declared the Former Marine to himself, before carrying the paint covered creature inside to his sink and turning it on.

As the paint washed away, slowly but surely while the lizard wiggled, he realized that it was a Blue Belly Lizard, and about 21 centimeters long. He had to admit, it was kind of cute.

Finally, all of the paint was off and Tig set the lizard down on the counter to wipe his hands off.

Suddenly, the thing started crawling towards him, and leaped on to his right arm.

"So you want to hang with me, huh?" smirked Tig, with the Lizard nodding it's head. The Lizard replied telepathically, _"You. You will be my Human."_

"A'ight. I'll call ya Ralph."

_"That works. What's your name?"_

"Tig."

**The Next Day**

"Alright. First order of business. We have a meeting with the Mayans at 3, so look alive everyone." began Jax as he banged the Gavel Down, calming down the 9 other men.

"Second order of business. Tig, what the Bloody 'ell is that on your shoulder?" asked Chibs, with the Vice President looking at Ralph perched on Tig's left shoulder, with Ralph bobbing his head up and down constantly, as if he was a bobble-head doll.

"Who? Ralph?" asked Tig, the Sgt. At Arms talking like it wasn't weird for a man to have a lizard on his shoulder.

"Yeah. Why do you have a Blue Belly on your shoulder?" asked Greg the Peg.

"Found him yesterday while painting my house. He nearly drowned in a paint can. I washed him off and he decided to hang with me." he replied nonchalantly.

"Weirdo." snarked Happy, before Tig flipped him the finger. He of all people shouldn't talk, since there wasn't ANYTHING normal about him.

Suddenly, Ralph stopped bobbing his head and communicated with every member present telepathically, _"Lay off on the insults. He is MY Human. Only I am allowed to do that."_

Everyone in the room looked at each other, and the looks given said it all. They had all heard the message loud and clear.

Jax finally broke the silence and asked, "Anything else?"

When nobody answered, he banged the gavel and the meeting was adjourned.

**Chapter 2 will be posted as soon as I write it. Hope you like it!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**I own nothing.**

Jax, Chibs, Tig, Greg the Peg and Happy rolled up to the abandoned Train Yard to see 5 Mayans sitting on their bikes, including their Founder and President, Marcus Alvarez. None of them had happy looks on their faces.

As the Sons dismounted, Marcus walked up to Jax. Jax stated, "I'm guessing this ain't social call, is it?"

"No. It isn't Gringo. You think it's funny, to disrespect my club?" demanded the enraged Mayans Leader, with murder in his eyes.

"How the Fuck did we do that?" demanded Greg, keeping his right hand on his Ka-Bar, just in case.

Marcus then pulled out a folded note from inside his Kutte's inner pocket and handed it to Jax, who opened it up. It read:

_"We're going need you to hold off on the End of the World. We have a Shipment coming in on the 21st._

_-Jax"_

It took everything within the SOA Members to keep from bursting out laughing as it was read.

Marcus said, "I never thought you thought so much of my club. How exactly are we supposed to be ending the World, Gringo?"

Jax wiped the smile off his face and said, "Look Bro, I didn't write that letter. I don't think you're ending the World, ok?"

"Then who did?"

_"I did, Marcus." _said Ralph telepathically from Tig's shoulder, where the Strange Lizard had stopped bobbing his head up and down.

"What the Fuck is that?" demanded Marcus, reaching for his gun, frightened, as were all of the Mayans.

"That's Ralph. He's my new best friend." replied Tig.

Marcus looked to Jax, then to Tig, then to Ralph, then back to Jax. He shook his head and said, "Gringo's Loco."

**Later on that Night**

"What the Hell are you?" asked Tig, looking up from his book to face Ralph on the Coffee table in his Living Room.

_"You really want to know?"_

"Yeah. I do."

The Lizard bobbed his head up and down for a little bit before saying, _"Alex, you're a messed up guy. I get that. The powers that be decided you need someone to help you out."_

Tig Trager looked at the Lizard he had saved and had quickly became friends with and asked, "You mean, like a Spirit Guardian or some shit like that?"

_"Yes. Like that."_

"Even though you're just as crazy as I am."

_"Yeah. Got a problem with it?"_

"Nah. But what exactly is your job?"

_"Basically, look out for you, be your friend, help you make the right choices. That sort of stuff."_

"Sweet. But listen, you can't pull anymore pranks like you did today on the Mayans, OK?"

_"Fair enough."_

**The End.**

**Don't worry. There will be a sequel. Hope you all enjoyed it!**


End file.
